100 questions

100 Questions for Couples

Most couples talk every day and still rarely talk about what truly matters. These 100 questions for couples are not a quiz and not a test. They are invitations to get to know each other again, whether you have been together for three months or twenty years. The list starts light and gets more personal with every section.

How to use the list: pick one question, both answer honestly, and listen without reacting right away. One question per evening is enough. HYTCH gives you exactly that as a daily ritual, and your partner's answer only becomes visible once you have both answered.

The questions

To warm up

1
What made you smile today?
2
Which food do you connect with us?
3
What was your first impression of me, and what part of it is still true?
4
Which song would you pick for us if we had a soundtrack?
5
What can I always do to make you laugh?
6
Which habit of mine do you secretly find cute?
7
What was the best thing we did together this month?
8
If we left spontaneously tomorrow, where would we go?
9
Which series or book would you love to experience with me again from the start?
10
What small ritual of ours means more to you than I probably know?
11
Which compliment from me have you never forgotten?
12
What would you do with a free day that I know nothing about?
13
Which of us is better at making plans, and which at changing them?
14
What was the funniest moment we have ever had together?
15
Which nickname would you give me if you had to?
16
What do you always order when I am not there?
17
Which object from our home would you save in a fire, apart from living things?
18
Which photo of us is your favourite, and why?
19
What is a word only the two of us use?
20
When did you last think of me and had to grin?

Closeness and feelings

21
When did you last feel truly seen in our relationship?
22
What is something you admire about me but have never told me?
23
Which small gesture of mine touched you most in the past few weeks?
24
What do you wish from me but do not dare to ask for?
25
Where in our everyday life do you sometimes feel alone?
26
When did you last notice that you trust me without thinking about it?
27
What do you need from me on a bad day?
28
How do you show me love without using words?
29
How do I show you love, and do I notice it myself?
30
When do you feel closest to me?
31
Which side of yourself do you only show me?
32
When did you last feel misunderstood by me?
33
What helps you feel close to me again after an argument?
34
Which touch of mine calms you the most?
35
When did you last feel jealous, and what was behind it?
36
What do you need to feel safe with me?
37
When did you last feel truly wanted in our relationship?
38
What would you like to hear from me more often?
39
Is there a way I comfort you that does not help at all?
40
What makes you weak around me, in the good sense?

Your story

41
What was the moment you knew this was getting serious?
42
Which shared moment would you love to live through again?
43
What has been our hardest moment so far, and what carried us through?
44
What was an argument we both learned something from?
45
What is the most surprising thing you have ever learned about me?
46
How have we changed since we got together?
47
What would you tell the two of us from a year ago?
48
What would you do differently on our first date?
49
Which place do you connect most strongly with us?
50
When was the last time I made you laugh out loud?
51
Which decision of ours turned out to be the best in hindsight?
52
When did you first think: I want to grow old with this person?
53
What was the moment you were most embarrassed by me, and do you laugh about it now?
54
Which phase of our relationship do you sometimes miss?
55
What was the first gift from me you remember?
56
When were you last really proud to be with me?
57
What was the best trip we have taken, and why that one?
58
Which crisis almost broke us apart, and what held us together?
59
What was a moment where I surprised you in a good way?
60
What is the story about us you most like telling other people?

Everyday life and the future

61
What does a perfect Sunday together look like for you?
62
Which habit of ours do you never want to lose?
63
Which habit of ours would you like to change?
64
What do you dream of for us ten years from now?
65
What from your family would you like to bring into our relationship, and what would you rather leave out?
66
How could I surprise you tomorrow?
67
Which ritual would you like to start with me?
68
How do we share everyday tasks, and does it feel fair to you?
69
How much time alone do you need, and do you get it?
70
How should we handle money if one of us earns much more?
71
What would you change about our home if you could decide alone?
72
What role should our friends play in our shared life?
73
How do you picture holidays with our families?
74
What is a goal you would like to reach together with me?
75
How do we deal with stress when it comes from outside?
76
What would you like to do together more often if time were no issue?
77
How should an argument between us ideally end?
78
What do you wish for us in the coming year?
79
Where do you want to live in five years, and do I fit into that picture?
80
Which decision should we make together soon?

Deep and honest

81
What have I taught you without noticing?
82
What makes you proud about our relationship?
83
Which question have you never asked me because you were afraid of the answer?
84
Which conversation have we been putting off for a while?
85
Which fear about us do we never talk about?
86
What do you appreciate about the way I treat other people?
87
What is a wish you hide from me because it feels silly?
88
What are you grateful to me for today?
89
What is the one thing that makes us special as a couple?
90
What do you want me to never forget about you?
91
What have you never forgiven me for, even if you say it is over?
92
When did you last doubt whether we would make it, and what made you stay?
93
Which part of yourself do you hide from me because you think I could not love it?
94
What have you given up in our relationship, and was it worth it?
95
What would you wish I changed about myself, and why do you not say so?
96
What does faithfulness mean to you, beyond the obvious?
97
How do you want me to care for you when you are old?
98
When did you last apologise to me without meaning it?
99
What do you still not understand about me?
100
If you could only say one more sentence to me, what would it be?